Written by Morse

Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for Greta Van Susteren Flies to Chile to Discuss Yet Another Dead Girl with Joran van der Sloot!
Cops Say van der Sloot Capable of Blending In With Ordinary Drunk Students on Spring Break!

Talk show host Greta Van Susteren hopped the red eye yesterday as she hurried off to Chile in an attempt to interview Joran van der Sloot regarding yet another dead girl he left behind, although this one was found in plain sight!

An all points bulletin has been issued for the Dutch youth who was accused, and even seen on a private video admitting he had something to do with the missing and presumed dead, US teenager Natalee Holloway, in a huge international incident that took place in Aruba in 2005.

Critics have claimed that political connections on the island retreat, van der Sloot's father who has since died, was a judge, contributed to the inept investigation of the young sociopath who fancied himself quite the Casanova when it came to scoring young spring breakers fueled with exotic cocktails and designer drugs visiting the island.

Now, according to police, van der Sloot, the deadly stalker, was in Peru for
'a poker tournament' and was seen entering a hotel room with the victim at 5 a.m., only to leave 4 hours later and hop a bus for a 1000 mile journey to earthquake ravished Santiago de Chile, the nation's capital.

As a grim footnote, the crime took place on May 30th, exactly 5 years to the day that Holloway went missing. Police say they are now looking into missing women reports around the world for the past 4 years, and tracking Joran's movements.

Back in the states Homeland Security Director Janet Napalatano says she will consider putting van der Sloot on the 'no fly' list if his DNA is found at the latest crime scene.

Confirmed sightings have since had him wind surfing on the Rio Mapocho,
sunning himself on the beach, working as a cabana boy, and offering himself as a sexual tour guide for foreigners who felt it was unsafe to travel to Thailand due to civil unrest there.

Apparently Van Susteren, who interviewed Joran during the Holloway investigation, said she had heard from him via Twitter, begging her to meet in Chile so he could tell his side of the story (again). According to Greta he issued a plaintive plea, "Please, you have to come. Don't make me have to sit down with Larry King.( again!")

The King interview was largely panned after a leering Larry asked van der Sloot "exactly how many American girls did you shag? Followed by,
'tell us, what was your best line to pick up drunk women?"

Larry really perked up when Joran recounted an event where he had even carried on a affair with his one time girl friend's sister with Larry even seen taking frantic notes on his cuffs.

Producers for Greta's show said they were confidant that if she met with van der Sloot, she could get him to turn himself in.

"Don't forget, she's a lawyer and not above lying to convince him that whatever happened was certainly not his fault. By the time she's done, there'll be yet another victim on trial here....you can take that to the bank!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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