Impotent Iran cleric blames earthquakes on "sexy women"

Written by shea lo

Saturday, 17 April 2010


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TEHRAN: A senior and very impotent Iranian cleric who heads the Ministry of Erectile Dysfunction appeared before the media and blamed dolled-up women for arousing sexual desires in men thus leading to earthquakes;

Ayatollah Cantgetitup insisted that:

"Women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex.
Youths can't help it that's the way they are. But women should know better not to tempt and tease these poor innocent ignorant future militants".

Asked what proof he had Ayatollah Cantgetitup said:

"I too am tempted but can't do anything about it. So if I can't have any fun why should others? I sometimes dress up like a woman so I too can feel sexy but the youths are not interested in an old man like me.

"Perhaps the Catholic Church will have a few tips for me on how to seduce"

The impotent Ayatollah said:

"We have insisted that all womans in Iran regardless of age must cover her hairs and sexy body shapes in public. Offenders face punishment like beheading or big fine".

Iranian women said this has not prevented them from appearing in public wearing tight coats; barely-there headscarves and lots of skillfully applied makeup.

Iran is prone to frequent devastating earthquakes - long before Ayatollahs or Islam were ever heard of.

This reporter asked the Ayatollah:

"If the sight of women is making you Iranian men so horny all the time why don't Iranian men simply wear blindfolds? Maybe then you men wouldn't cause all those earthquakes with your pent-up".

According to this reporter has not been seen since making this "blasfeemeek" remark . Scotland Yard is investigating the disappearance.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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