Today, at a press conference at the Crawford Ranch, former president Bush denied allegations of sleeping with Tony Blair, stating, "I did not have sex with that man." The statement follows Tony Blair being brought up on charges in the U.K. Former president Bush also denied allegations that he and Tony Blair are engaged.
"Now why would I want to be engaged to someone who isn't powerful enough to keep from being charged? I mean, ya' know, my daddy has enough power being the ex head of the CIA and being a former president, too, that nobody can touch me. He has dirt on everybody. Besides, I've got Fox News behind me.
I guess ol' Tony shoulda' given up a little of that sweet booty to some more influensh... ifluen... important people. That way maybe he coulda' gotten outa bein' brought up on charges."
The press conference ended when former president Bush said that he had to go help Osama Bin Laden finish shoveling the shit out of the sheep pen.