Siesta Fiesta! Save the Spanish Snooze!

Funny story written by Erskin Quint

Monday, 15 March 2010

image for Siesta Fiesta! Save the Spanish Snooze!
Santiago de la Pulverosa on Market Day

A Spanish lawyer has urged regional authorities to add the siesta to a list of items deemed to have "special cultural value".

Miguel Don Quixote's application was the latest in a series of attempts to place long-established Spanish customs under the shield of legal protection.

"The siesta has a particular significance for us", Quixote said yesterday. He went on to suggest that cities like Madrid ought to install beds in every street and public park, with special "public pyjamas" provided in sealed bags.

Quixote's application comes hard on the heels of last week's request by Juan Bastardo to protect the traditional Andalucian sports of hurling old donkeys from towers and jumping up and down on old donkeys until their ribs cave in.

Also currently being considered by the Ministerios des Culturos Brutalos is the Fiesta de los Gansos, in which a goose is hung from a balcony and local men compete to see who can jump up and hang on to its neck the longest.

And the age-old tradition of Quail-Catapulting - in which live quail are hurled into the air and shot at - is also set to be enshrined in the cultural pantheon, if the efforts of local councillor Manuel Bastinado bear fruit. "This is a vital part of our heritage", claimed Snr Bastinado yesterday. "If this tradition is not protected, then what will happen to the Quail breeders, the keepers of the Quail catapults and Cannons for shooting out the quails, and the Quail Catapulting Officials? There will be many local jobs lost. Also the catapulting is the most humane way to keep down the populations of the quails, which are pests to local crops of alfalfas and which frighten the chickens."

However, one ancient practice that does not need this protection is the annual tossing a live goat from the church tower ceremony of the village of Santiago de la Pulverosa. This practice was declared a National Sport of Spain in 2007 by Queen Sofia under instruction from the Inquisition.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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