Ol' Blue Eyes once sang that he wanted to wake up in a city that doesn't sleep, which was all well and good back in the day, but if he was to wake up in New York City nowadays he'd be pretty disappointed. Because New York is no longer the epicentr...
Vancouver, B.C. Winter Olympics Are History - The Norwegians and Swedes know how to Cross Country ski -- they won 8 of the potential 12 Gold Medals and 16 of the 36 possible. The US Total for Cross Country Skiing was 0-Gold, Zip-Silver, and Nada...
With the conclusion of the Winter Olympics and the departure of the participants from all over the world, attention has turned to Cypress Mountain where the downhill skiing events were held. A giant slalom skier from Greece, part of the Olympic te...
VANCOUVER - The snow skis and ice skates have all been packed. The Chap Sticks have been put away in purses and pockets. And all of the red noses are just about returning to their normal color - off-white, except in the case of the Swedish team which...
The Russian President has welcomed his Olympic "Loser" Team home with a quick trip to Siberia, a short-sharp dose of stone breaking at -50 degrees, a diet of reindeer blood mixed with Siberian Rat meat and sprint swimming in the Artic Sea (BRRRR!).
Canadians awoke to horror today, discovering that their thrilling Olympic victory over the United States has failed to dislodge their international status as That Hockey Country Just Above America. Experts say that barring the acquisition of nuclear...
Capping off a brilliant week of hosted competition where Canadian athletes did well against the world's best, the cherry on top of that frosty ice cream sundae came from the gold medal hockey game and overtime win against the Americans. Often feel...
The UK women's curling team were out on the razz in Vancouver yesterday. Joined by the Canadian women's curling team they managed to drink between them 3000 units of alcohol, well over the amount recommended by doctors. Olympic officials slammed...
VANCOUVER: After its repeatedly nonsensical jaw-jawing, the petulant Brit media seems to have gone into its usual drunken stupor. No more put-downs of the Canadian Vancouver Olympics; no more hectoring of Canada's Own the Podium "arroganc...
Observant viewers will have noted that skiers must ski through "gates" on Olympic downhill and slalom events. Each "gate" is easily identified as it is red. Hundreds if not thousands of "red gates" are used throughout the competitions. A group of...
The Olympic Village escaped a major catastrophe today with the arrival of an emergency supply of another 20,000 condoms after the initial ration ran out unexpectedly due to 'rampant sexual euphoria' spurred by Ivana Phuque's explosion onto the world...
After routine inspections, the CISB is considering closing down this year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver, B.C. Inspectors were amazed at the number of dangerous, slippery floors and slopes that were accessible to the athletes and the general publ...
After months of vacillation Antarctica has decided to send a delegation to the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. The team is heading northward in the shape of an large iceberg. More massive than the state of Connecticut,the berg is hoping to medal in...
Olympic authorities escorted two women from the curling floor Wednesday. Rosanna Donaldson and Pepper Jamey stated that they received what later appeared to be a crank phone call requesting a "high curl and dye job" at the facility in Vancouver.
Swedish Olympic Team Skater Ivana Phuque has been the most popular athlete at the Vancouver Winter Games. The vivacious and outgoing blonde has captivated audiences with her bottomless skating and braless jumping. A visit with the competitor's fami...
Pharmacists around the world admit that sales of Viagra have been down ever since Swedish Olympic Sensation Ivana Phuque begin captivating crowds at the Vancouver Winter Games. The blonde bombshell, who performs braless in her tight, white lycra top...
Fresh from her multi-gold winning performances at the Vancouver Olympic Winter Games, Swedish skating sensation Ivana Phuque announced that she is a big SuBo (Susan Boyle) fan and wants to meet the singing star. A surprised Boyle admitted that she h...
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