Newly inflated Pam Anderson to carry Vancouver's Olympic torch in the nude - IOC old farts not amused

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Saturday, 2 January 2010

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VANCOUVER: Vancouver's favorite aging babe has decided that when Jack the Rogue call's Vancouver's Olympics "the best" - he is "damn well going to mean it".

To put a little extra oomph into the torch running relay, Pammie has added an additional ten pounds of plastic to her already inflated chest. This she says will protect her from pneumonia as she runs the downtown Vancouver leg of the torch relay.

International media and fans have already staked their place along the route with "Go Pammie Go" signs fluttering along Robson Street.

"It's like going to be like so awesome", Ms. Anderson told this reporter as she came out all goose-pimply from the frigid waters at English Bay following her traditional New Year's Day Polar Bay swim.

The VanOlympics chief said he was thrilled to bits with her enthusiasm and this would put a definitive Vancouver spin on the otherwise chilly sports event. "We'll show the world how to do things in style", Mr. Miles Yardstick said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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