Rio De Janeiro Financially Forced From 2016 Olympics, Now To Be Held In Bear Waller, Kentucky

Funny story written by Bureau

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

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Brazil's most memorial city, which had been losing its luster for decades, gave those who live there hope that the 2016 Olympic Games would help it regain it's lost glory.

While its gorgeous beaches have kept Rio De Janeiro among the world's top tourist draws, and the city hosts major events like the annual Carnival, right now they have decided that they no longer have the funds to host the 2016 Olympic Games.

"Rio is a city that has suffered greatly," President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva de Luiz Inez said today in Sao Paulo. Rio, for a long time, has appeared in newspapers in the crime section. We wanted something better, perhaps later."

So instead, a great big shout came forth this morning as 88 people threw their hats into the air as Bear Waller, Kentucky was the backup group for Rio!

"We'll have us a wing-ding bigger than ten county fairs!" yelled Mayor Stu Cramps! "They'll come from Hair Branch to Leonard's Nap. There'll be at least 500 hunnerd people show up ever day everlasting!"

Immediately people here are getting things together for 2016 as people tend to move slow hereabouts.

In preparation for the big event, they will set to working "first thang tomorry morning, when we always start sumpin" and get ready for the slew of events:

Washer Pitching, Greased Pig Chase, Corn Hole (Greeks are favorite), Hog Calling, Bingo, Husband Calling, Horseshoe Pitching, Relay Races, Sack Race, 100-Meter Sack Race, Three Person Sack Race, Balloon Stomping, Balloon Sitting, Tossed Raw Eggs, Tug Of War, Chawing Backer Spit, Watermelon Seed Spit, Age Guessing, Giant Bubble Blowing, Miss 2016 Olympics, Jr. Miss 2016 Olympics, Little Miss 2016 Olympics (Providing Polanski is still in jail), Face Painting, Bobbing For Apples, Extreme Sport Horseapple Bobbing, Corn On The Cob Eating Contest and Best Pickle (Men Only...Oh, we'll let Miss Jesse Bob in too, she'll probably win).

"Oh, be shore to write down marbles!"

So things are wild and wooley in Bear Waller, Kentucky, Home of the 2016 Olympics!

"If not tomorry, we'll start first thang the next day. Go make us a sign! Go make us a sign!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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