Vatican Shitty - (Altar Buoys): A stunning PR success is how papal mouthpiece Monsignor Georg Gangswine (sic) described it.
And now the Vatican is planning a repeat performance of the staged attack that brought Pope Joe Ratzinger to his knees on Christmas Eve.
Sources close to the Catacombs said today Susanna Maiolo, 25, had been paid handsomely to perform in public.
A bursary of ten thousand euros has been traced to her Vatican Bank account, fed by last Sunday's collection plate.
A YouTosserGov.con poll published today shows papal popularity soared a whopping 100% since the Midnight Mass hoax that felled the ugly Nazi pontiff.
This bodes well for a New Year's Day papal whip-round to pay for the 'millions' of euros needed for 'psychiatric' treatment to cure Ms Mailo of her heinous psychosis.
'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi was a stunningly successful bigamist.