Volvo and Ikea no longer trusted brands

Funny story written by whatinthe world

Monday, 14 December 2009

image for Volvo and Ikea no longer trusted brands
The editor of the article in question remains in hiding

Stockholm, Sweden. Authorities here are on alert following the revelations that anything carrying the name Volvo or Ikea is equivalent to fatal brands such as Trebant or even Titanic.

The fuss was caused by a story appearing in the International Times which suggested that Volvos, despite their acknowledged safety record, had been involved in 1627 road accidents last year. It went on to record that furniture made by the hitherto respectable company Ikea had been the subject of 943 public complaints, mainly about manufacturing faults.

A spokesman for Volvo said that because the car is so popular, it is going to show up in crash statistics from time to time. However, he wouldn't elaborate on the size of the figure mentioned in the newspaper article.

Representatives of Ikea were reluctant to return calls and when we visited HQ in Stockholm, we were chased away by a burly security officer with a large Irish wolfhound. It seems that Ikea is most keen to prevent damaging truths about its products from spreading around the public domain.

The moral of this story is that consumers should compare and contrast these brands with other labels, and not automatically go with the "prestigous" name every time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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