Written by Nick Hobbs

Monday, 16 November 2009

image for Scandal: Doctor Dolittle Arrested.
Dr. Dolittle...he murdered the human beings.

One time naturalist and animal lover Doctor John 'Fishy' Dolittle has been arrested and charged with the murder and mutilation of over 16 people over the past 6 years.

The doctor, who had a brief spell of fame with his 'talking to the animals' trick which was followed up by a book and several film and TV adaptations, was arrested in his home, the Wootten Fish Farm, last night in a police raid code named 'Get The Weirdo.'

Dolittle's neighbours told us that he had become a recluse in recent years, almost never appearing outside his home. Jenny Slapper, friend and neighbour, had this to say "he was an odd man, very inward and non talkative, always polite when he did speak though. He smelt of fish. I would have thought he'd be done for animal fornication, never murder! You never can tell, eh?"

Det. Simon Papp said "we had mounting evidence of missing persons often being last seen in or around the area of Mr.Dolittle's residence. It smelt of fish. We did a bit of sneaking, spot of spying, got 'im, bang to rights!"

He is said to have been very upset at the current way in which fish were treated in the film and television industry and it is this that sparked a massive hate campaign against the human race, which ultimately ended in murder.

Dolittle faces doing very little for the next 120 years if found guilty.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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