Confusion Reigns as LAPD Implicate Tupac in Biggie Murder

Funny story written by foshizzle

Monday, 9 November 2009

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A quiet day at Rikers Island

The LAPD continued to make a mockery of law enforcement this week, in their latest ill-fated investigation into the murder of Rap Legend Biggie Smalls.

Long after closing the initial case, a junior officer stumbled across "Rap Beef" volumes one to five, while looking for gruesome pornography in his local DVD shop. Stunned at what he read on the back of the DVD cases, he immediately knew he had to pass these vital missing clues to his superiors.

A Police spokesman added, "Having heard Tupac's music, there is no other conclusion we could come to. He said he wanted to kill Biggie, and then poof, Biggie gets shot and murdered".

It has not yet been acknowledged that in the time between Tupac's infamous diss record "Hit em up", and Biggie's death, Tupac himself was shot and killed. The LAPD, however refused to get bogged down by technicalities.

"They all died around the same time. 6 months here or there won't destroy our case".

Many onlookers seem bewildered at the fact Shakur is mentioned as a suspect, and are waiting with great anticipation to see what happens if he is called to the stand.

While some believe Shakur is still alive, law experts for the prosecution are looking into the legality of using a ouija board to communicate with Tupac if he is unable to make it to the stand. Defence lawyers have not ruled out using the same method to cross examine Biggie.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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