South Carolina Man Caught Twice Making Whoopy With Horse: Claims He Was "hot to trot"

Funny story written by Morse

Saturday, 7 November 2009


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SC Man Gives Whole New Meaning to "Standing to Stud!"

A Conway, SC man, was caught for the SECOND TIME making love to a mare at at local riding stable, and this time sentenced to 3-5 years in prison under the Mare Act.

The 21 year old Mare, known as Horse X to protect her identity, was first abused, according to reports, when she was only 15, and still considered a filly minor.

Her owner, suspected foul play when she found a 3 foot step ladder behind her stall, a strange stain on her blue horse blanket, and later found that her mare was suffering from a gonorrhea.

Suspecting that nefarious activities were taking place, the owner set up hidden video cameras, and found out what she had suspected, Horse X was being taken advantage of, and she wasn't being fed just just carrots.

The perpetrator, Henry "Big Johnson" Johnson, was identified on film, was arrested, but since SC doesn't have a "Black Beauty Law' ,provisions for sex offenders who take advantage of horses under the legal age, was given a suspended sentence, and mandatory counseling, which the horse's owner labeled "horse shit".

Years went by, and once again, Horse X's owner suspected sexual activity was going on in the barn late at night, when the Mare again showed signs of
sexual gratification by continuing to rub her rump up against a fence post seeking sexual relief.

Once again, cameras were set up, and sure enough, "Big Johnson" was back at it, and as confirmed by the vet, was again performing 'bare back' sexual congress with Horse X.

Local law enforcement, acting on the film evidence, rearrested "Big Johnson", who when confronted with the video evidence, confessed immediately.

Prison guards who were forced to strip search 'Big Johnson", said the pervert was 'hung like a horse' , but did show contrition for his nefarious deeds.

According to his court appointed attorney, 'Big Johnson' had tried to go straight, but an assignation with 'the woman with the world's largest vagina' did not go well when she suffered an epileptic fit causing severe vaginal contractions nearly crushing "Big Johnson's" Johnson.

Mr. Johnson was assigned to the SC Penal Detention Center in Greenville, and his duties, according to news reports, will be to exercise Governor Mark Sanford's imported Argentinean brood mare.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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