Written by Alexandria177

Sunday, 25 October 2009

image for "Star Trek" costs humanity a few thousand years.
"See you later, Earth! Good luck!"

Proxima Centauri, Milky Way Galaxy - Sentient beings who discovered faster than light travel around the time Carthage was getting destroyed were investigating some phenomena in the region of Proxima Centauri, approximately four light years from us.

While there, they detected radio signals from our Solar System, that let them know intelligent life was here. Till now, whenever they had found such, they would go and share their technology with that species in exchange for cultural artifacts and new perspectives on philosophical ideas.

Then they translated the broadcasts. Particularly "Star Trek".

That's when they learned of what Gene Roddenberry called, "The Prime Directive". In that, it is said that it is unlawful and immoral to interfere in the cultural developement of a pre-warp culture, that is to say, a culture that had not yet attained the ability to travel at faster than light speeds.

Now, it is reported that the aliens were fully well aware that we did not have "Star Trek" style ships or technology. But in their one and only broadcast from Proxima, before leaving for parts unknown, they did say this:

"Peoples of Earth. We respect your decision to wish to develop on your own, though regret it as we had so much to share. But we will think on what you said, for it may be that gifts such as immortality, perfect health, unlimited food and faster than light travel are not as fun if not earned in a long and painstakingly slow process.

This is hard for us to believe, because every other group we have met has been glad to have so many thousands of years of struggle taken away. They've been glad for their youths to study the latest science, and not plod toward where we are now for millenia. But we guess you may be more unusually stubborn and xenophobic, so will accede to your wishes.

We will instead eagerly await the next few thousand years and look forward to sharing with you then."

In related news, riots have broken out world wide, and as of last report, no trekkie is believed left alive.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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