The UK government is now in the final stages of selling the English language to Iran, a move which has again outraged the American's especially after coming hard on the heels of the recent Internet sale to Iran by the UK.
According to the UK government the sale which is thought to be worth a billion Persian style rugs plus some cash has been in part caused by the anticipated shortages in floor coverings expected because of the world economic downturn. Minister of the interior, Ms. Homely said. "Although the English language was a nice asset to own it simply had no value in this country because everyone in the UK, except the Welsh, Scots and Irish, speaks it. For people born in England they will still be able to say they speak English as the sale only affects people from outside the country. In any case, the sale to Iran will secure floor coverings for all British homes well into the next decade and Iran was chosen from a list of bidders because they do make damn good carpets." She went on to say that the sales of languages are outside any trade embargos.
The sale of English to Iran has now deepened the rift between the UK and US with some saying that the special relationship between the two countries may simply become a relationship if situations do not improve. The main thrust behind US anger is that they had already put in progress a plan to call English American. For example school children would be taught American, the universal language in Europe would be American and the official languages in many British commonwealth countries would be American. Now it looks like these plans have been scuppered now that the Iranians can now lay claim to these terms for themselves.
Editors note: Please note that from the 1st of next month all spoof articles will by law have to be written in Iranian.