CHICAGO -- Christian churches from all across the country have sent representatives to the ongoing summit to deal with the continuing shortage of pithy one-liners. These one-liners are commonly seen on boards propped out in front of the building, ostensibly to attract parishioners or induce a sudden religious conversion.
Examples of some one-liners include: "Jesus: The Son also Rises!", "God is the Biggest Brother", and "If you can read this, you're a sinner." However, church authorities from all ecumenical background have noted a sharp drop in the pithiness quotient (PQ) of one-liners lately.
"I remember the days when our signs out front were so good, we caused a five-car pileup every other Sunday," said Rev. Holgreaves, of the Evangelical Church of Evangelism. "But last Sunday all we could come up with was 'Jesus!' Just that. 'Jesus!,' and nothing else. What kind of one-liner is that?"
Studies have indicated a sharp drop in rates of attendance and new members at churches across the country. "If we don't get some new one-liners out front, the US may be completely atheist by the end of the year," said Rev. Holgreaves.
