The Pope has announced a multi-billion dollar plan to purchase the Islamic faith.
The deal, said to be too good to refuse, will see all of Islam controlled by Catholicism PLC.
Last night, the Pope stood on the Vatican balcony and announced his intention to the People of the World.
"A lot a people will think this was God's idea but I wasn't even talking to him at the time," Pope said.
"It came to me, blam. Buy Islam and all our problems disappear."
Shares in the prophet Mohammad have plummeted recently, in part due to the global credit crunch and also due to a string of failed suicide bombings which left potential martyrs in excruciating pain.
The Pope said: "We'll rebrand. Naturally, Islam will be rehoused here in the Vatican as a cost-saving measure."
But last night the Catholic PLC takeover of Islam was already in hot water.
Financial watchdogs say The Pope should have announced his intention to the world's stock markets ahead of any balcony grandstanding.
