The UN today declared the Afghan elections, wait for it, non-corrupt. This announcement has shocked the world and the Taliban think it's a bomb, and another missile on top.
US and UK troops protecting the Afghan electorate are also "Dying" with laughter over this latest diplomatic missile to be launched by the UN!
US, GI Fred Zimmerman from Wisconsin, Iowa (where?) told Aljazeera Int reporters:
"Man these fucking UN arseholes have got their heads up their snooty butts if they think this election is not CORRUPT."
"My comrades have been offered voting slips by Afghani's to flog on E Bay at a $10,000 a hit, in fact we've already sold two thousand, pays the drug habit MAN!"
In response to these leaking accusations by Aljazeera Int. a UN spokesman, Yousaffa Ghadaffi Bin Laden (distant relation of the real one, by the way!) told their reporters:
"We know that the Afghani elections are not f*****g corrupt, Infidels!"
"How can they be corrupt, because there is no f*****g election, 99% of Afghanis can't even write a X on the ballot slips let alone know what the f**k an election is!"
"No Ladies and gentlemen this is just a fata morgana, an excuse to ease the tensions in the US/UK."
"Murder a couple of GI's and Brit soldiers, bomb the shit out of the Taliban and maintain the Status quo so global weapon's dealers can help get the world economy back on the rails!"
The present Afghani president (a total nutter by the way!) dared to exit his Kabul palace, 50 metres from the door, rallied his supporters (all three of them!) in front of the worlds press and praised Obama from Allah, promised him a camel and a chopped off pickled Taliban head for his enormous efforts, Shalom!!
