ORANGE GLO, FL - When Discovery's Channel aired its new show "Pitchman," many viewers were surprised to find Billy Mays had a softer side. They can thank Dr. Les Lowden of Tampa General Hospital for this minor miracle.
Just weeks before the show was to air, Lowden performed the first ever laryngeal bypass surgery on Mays. Though Mays and Discovery's Channel were understandably concerned about possible negative consequences of an untried operation, it was a complete success.
The pioneering procedure narrowed the passageway whereby air enters Mays' voice box, restricting the loudness with which he is able to produce sound and allowing him, for the first time ever, the ability to control the volume of his voice.
"This is absolutely incredible," whispered Mays almost inaudibly, his bearded face grinning broadly. "You can barely hear me right now, huh? This operation is incredible!"
Yes, that's right, Billy. Pretty amazing, alright. Nevertheless, experts have pointed out that, though Mays speaks more softly now, he's still incredibly irritating.
"So, if you too are having problems with the volume of your voice," advised Mays, "Call Dr. Les Lowden. His amazing breakthrough procedure is a huge value at just 6 easy payments of $1299.99. Here's how to order."
