As the great Miguel de Cervantes once said, 'a Proverb is a short sentence based on long experience'. The English language is littered with many such traditional phrases which have over the years been accepted as part of what Shakespeare called 'the great truth'
'Don't count your chickens before they are hatched', 'Like Father like Son', 'Sickness in the body brings sadness to the mind' and 'Act like a hard man to hide your latent homosexuality' are all well known sayings that we all tend to use from time to time.
However one such saying has been called into question today when Keith Richards, guitarist with Rock legends The Rolling Stones, revealed that he has one of the world's greatest collections of moss. Talking to our Arts Correspondent Sally Belgrano Richards said:
"It is true I have been fascinated by it (Moss) for some time. Did you know that before there were shrubs, trees and flowers and before even dinosaurs, there was moss. Now at long last this prehistoric plant is finally starting to get the recognition it deserves. I have all kinds of moss at home, Haircap moss, Cushion moss, Fern (moss) and possibly my favourite Rockcap moss. What I love about it (moss) is that as far as maintenance goes, all you have to do is keep your moss clear of leaves and debris. This means I can go off on tour and drinking binges and stuff and it (moss) will look after itself. It's the perfect flora for the busy Rock and Roller".
He (Richards) continued: "One thing that works great is quarter-inch black mesh netting. Lay it down before the leaves start to fall, then once the leaves have fallen, you simply roll it up. I find that you can use moss anywhere that you want to create a tranquil and serene setting. I have put it between flagstones, on patios, under trees, even in plant pots in my bedroom. It's smashing it really is"
Our reporter declined the offer of Richards moss for fear that she may become indebted to the aging rock star and possibly have to perform some kind of lurid (sex) act on him at a later date.
However the fact that a Rolling Stone does appear to gather moss brings into question many other proverbs that we have up until now taken as gospel. Gavin Cologne Brookes Professor of Englishness at Bath Spa University maintains in his book 'Truth is stranger than fiction' that many traditional proverbs no longer apply in modern day Britain.
"To test the validity of one of the old English Proverbs I once lay my hat at an address in Central London. Four guards on horseback and six armed policeman insisted quite firmly that the garden at Kensington palace was is no way going to be my home".
" 'Blood is thicker than water'. Not if you're suffering from acute Thrombocytopenia it's not."
