Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 3 May 2009

image for 29 Stone Munter Feeds Kids Junk Food And Wine
Where's Me Big Mac And Me Benefit Book?

29 stone (406lbs) mum of three Uncleanne Salty today made a defiant stance against critics who insisted that the 24 year old porker feeding her toddler triplets Jock Donald's meals, fish and chips, and pasta washed down with wine was a severe case of bad parenting.

"I've done nowt wrong," the old boiler told me from her grotty Coventry gaff, which was littered with shitty nappies and fast food containers. "I chowed it up afore I give it to the lirrel uns. Fed it to 'em like a mummy bird I did."

Uncleanne went on to criticise the government for forcing her to sit on her lardy arse watching TV all day for a 'pittance subsistence level' benefits package of £227 a week.

Incredibly, her mother then went on to allege that we were picking on Uncleanne because she was poor, whereas we were invariably nice to the McCanns, professional people whose daughter disappeared in Portugal 2 years ago. In her opinion the McCanns were the ones guilty of neglect, not Uncleanne.

We think this is a disgraceful state of affairs and that the father, who buggered off back to Africa once he'd got his glasses back from the menders, ought to be thoroughly ashamed of himself. We asked a hardworking taxpayer who frequently puts in 15-16 hour working days how he felt about subsidising such a bunch of slobs with his hard-earned.

Skoob1999 told us: "It's only fair that people like me should get up at 4.30am in all weathers, brave the elements, work a twelve hour shift and come home at 8 or later in the evening so that fat salad dodging slappers can sit on their fat ugly arses watching Jeremy fucking Kyle all day. It's just hunky fucking dory."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Rolling Stones




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