In a move destined to restore peace and prosperity to this once miserable corner of the world, Sudan has authorized its fashion police to reaffirm the core values that make this land a great and powerful nation.
No longer will the governing bodies concern themselves with insurgency, civil war, the plight of millions of displaced persons, lack of basic health care and yes, starvation. No, no. As of today, Sudan will direct its energies to the true cause of the rot that threatens the lives of millions of hapless Sudanese citizens; the degraded spectacle of women wearing....oh dare I say it...trousers.
It is clear and well understood that the revolting spectacle of women with both legs covered in voluminous fabric must be stopped. Thanks are due to the ever-vigilant fashion police who have witnessed the unholy spectacle and acted promptly and forcefully to end this degradation of values and morality. Clearly, this grave threat to public safety must be addressed and stopped. To this end, women wearing trousers will be flogged, despite the absence of law forbidding females to wear trousers. This oversight will be addressed as soon as the various tribal/civil wars/insurgencies/mayhem that currently prevail cool. Then, oh happy day, we can get back to the business of oppressing the female half of our population on a full time basis.
Degenerate western journalists are encouraged to stay tuned for future female offenses against the values of Sudan. Will they next want to drive? Refuse sexual intercourse? Report rape? Protest honor killings?
Stay tuned and viva la burqua.