Interplod today uncovered a massive international pervert ring involving millions of people worldwide. Details are vague so far but one insider who spoke annonymously said ''we've found evidence of postage stamp licking on an unprecedented scale''.
The ring of filth is said to be operating in every country with some suspects are also thought to be involved in envelope licking.
The whole crew of Blue Peter were arrested early this morning after encouraging children to ''send a stamped addressed envelope'' a metaphor often used within the circle of shame.
Religious leaders have urged people write to police if they know a family member who may have been sucked into this hole of slime, although some priests are thought to have been caught red handed already