Police Officers Demand Bulletproof Undies

Funny story written by Bureau

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

image for Police Officers Demand Bulletproof Undies
"Drop Your Gun Lower Fred."

After years of continuing advancement in lighter and lighter bulletproof vests, police are now asking that an effort be made towards the development of the bulletproof undies that never chaff.

"For the past 30 years the Kevlar vests we use almost daily, especially in the inner city, have saved many a policeman's life", stated Sergeant Scrotumlest, "and, believe me we are very grateful but when it comes to defending the family jewels, our protection is sorely, and I do mean sorely, lacking."

Records show that a full 15% of all officers are now missing at least one nut and that does not lead to becoming "the good cop" as he is usually really pissed at anyone taking a shot at him or even thinking about it.

According to Sergeant Scrotumlest, "If new Kevlar shorts are created and ready to put on at any time, you'll have a much braver police force guarding your loved ones because you will have provided for the protection of THEIR loved ones.

Scrotumlest concluded his request by saying, "Having generation after generation of police officers securing your communities depends a lot upon them being able to have children to become the police guard in every city."

"No gonads, no guards!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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