Pattaya Man Calls US Man A 'Sex Pest' And 'Paedo'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 15 July 2009


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Pattaya - not your normal kind of seaside resort

A British man living here in the Eastern seaboard town of Pattaya has astounded locals and tourists alike by referring to a visiting American tourist as a Sex Pest and a Paedo (paedophile).

The incident happened as Moys Kenwood, 46 from Hull, was out taking an evening stroll along Walking Street in the resort, notorious for its gawdy bars and thousands upon thousands of available women.

Kenwood noticed a man, apparently in his 'latter years' with his arm draped around the shoulders of a woman approximately 60 years his junior.

Not really listening to the what the man was saying, but able to hear anyway, he was able to determine that the pair were on their way to have 'relations' at a nearby hotel, at which time, the upright and law-abiding Englishman intervened.

Passers-by say that Kenwood became agitated and told the American:

"You filthy old bastard! You've had your time! Now fuck off and get back to your hotel, you sex pest!"

Later, Kenwood is alleged to have told anyone who would listen, that the holidaymaker, Cornelius Finkelmann, from New Jersey, was a paedophile, being that his female partner was "only about 12".

Police are not investigating, as this, unfortunately, is normal practice in the resort.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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