ISFAHAAN, IRAN: Iran is claiming that it has become the first Islamic country in the Middle East to have cloned a cow. It says this is all part of its research with stem cells.
Grand Ayatollah Onetoomany said: "After running the cleanest election in the world and gathering steam on our nuclear weapons we had hoped to clone many of our Ayatollahs so the line of Supreme Guardians could continue unabated.
"Unfortunately our stupid scientists ended up with Ayatollahs with goats heads or sheep's backsides. We have executed all of them. Now that a new group of scientists has perfected the cloned cow they are practicing with Mahmud Ahmedinejad's DNA and if that is successful, the world can expect to see a long line of cloned Ayatollahs"
Ahmedinejad said: "This is the best way to strike fear into the hearts of our infidel enemies. If they encourage more riots, we will place cloned Ayatollahs on every corner on every street. We won't need Basij forces to scare the shit out of these protestors".