Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has announced her resignation with immediate effect.
Ms Palin took the unusual step of traipsing by the stores from which she had borrowed the glamorous wardrobe that had been one of her most vital weapons in her attempt to become President of the US Taleban.
During her schlep by Saks 5th, Donna Karen and WalMart (for .22 rimfire) Ms Palin maintained a dignified silence. When asked why she was attempting to return dresses for full credit when there was the presence of demonstrable elk bloodstains she asked a spokesman to read a prepared statement.
"I have resigned from Gubernatorial office with great regret. It is possible that my sex tape, filmed with a deeply lusted partner in an Alaskan motel when I was barely legal, could breach the bounds of propriety. On the other hand, it may be that the Good Ol' Party just ain't ready for me"!
WalMart accepted the dud .22 rounds without demur.
Ms Palin has called upon her family to support her. "My daughter can have the f*****g tattoos now, and I don't give a f**k how my useless husband Billy-Bob cavorts in Alaska's wide selection of chicken ranches".
It is not known how President Obama received the news of Governor Palin's resignation as he is paralysed by laughter and cannot rise frm the Oval Office carpet.