Written by Jalapenoman

Friday, 3 July 2009

image for Sarah Palin Resigns As Alaska Governor
Sarah Made this announcement on a warm Alaskan day at the marina

Sarah Palin, the Republican Nominee for Vice President in the last election, announced that she will step down as Alaskan Governor later this month. Many speculate that her resignation is due to her wanting to spend more time on her anticipated campaign for President in 2012.

This publication caught up with the Governor as she was christening a new fishing boat in Juneau. After breaking the celebratory bottle of Thunderbird against the hull, she made a statement:

"I have decided that being a Governor is not the best path to the White House. Instead, I am going to concentrae on doing the things that proved successful in the last campaign."

"First, I intend to destroy all copies of my birth certificate and all official records of my birth."

"Second, I will renounce my U.S. citizenship, register in college as a foreign national, and then pretend that these things never happened."

"Third, I will attend a Muslim school and mosque and then join a radical church run by a racist who I will make the Godfather of my children. I will deny ever being a Muslim and never answer in the affirmative if I am asked if I am a Christian. I will also insult the Bible and it's teachings."

"Fourth, I will get a job as a community organizer, as it carries more weight and responsibility than being a mayor or a governor."

"Fifth, I will start kissing up to a popular celebrity and convince them to donate millions to my campaign and to turn their daily talk show into a political forum for me."

"Sixth, I will find some way to buy the media."

"Seventh, I will publish several books with multiple inconsistencies about my life, and then deny many of the things that I say about myself and my family in the books."

"Eighth, I will find known terrorist sympathizers and get them to buy me a multi-million dollar home and pay for my trips around the world."

"This worked for Obama, so it should work for me."

Oprah Winfrey did not approve this message.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sarah Palin, Alaska




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