In a shock admission, one that has shocked the world into a state of shock, the United Nations has stood behind Iran to declare their recent presidential elections fair, above board and a true result reflecting the wishes of the Iranian people.
Standing behind returning Iranian President Hava Nodinnajaquet, Mr Bank Your Moonie of the UN said that he was standing behind the President so that he wouldn't get shot in the back.
The independent team of vote assessors, who travelled to Hidingue-Ta-Nothin in Northern Iran, confirmed earlier today that of the 113% of the population who took part in this fair and upstanding vote, 142% of votes were cast in favour of re-elected incumbant Hava Nodinnajaquet, while -34% of votes only were cast for the opposing candidate Dr Somchanca Peece.
Mr Nodinnajaquet said that he fully respects the views of the opposition who think the voting was unfair, and he has promised that there will be no repercussions against anyone who wants to protest about them, except of course for the odd mass slayings, group stonings and beheadings which will take place in every town.
