Written by queen mudder

Monday, 4 May 2009

image for Chinese ordered to smoke more 'to prune down the population numbers'
Only 20-a-day is a piss-poor habit according to Beijing officials

Beijing, China - (Hand-rolling Mess): Local government workers have been given orders to double their weekly nicotine consumption after the Ministry of Health officials complained about improving life expectancy rates of Chinese pensioners.

The edict insists a mere twenty-a-day habit is bad for the economy and insufficient to meet national heart and respiratory disease expectations.

China reckons to have some 500 million smokers and recently claimed that 'only about a million of them die each year from smoking-related illnesses'.

Another 200-odd million citizens apparently 'should make a patriotic effort' to bring the numbers up to scratch.

Tobacco consumption remains the country's top official killer after years of lagging behind state-sponsored executions.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: China, Smoking

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
82 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more