Written by Bluebella

Thursday, 9 April 2009

image for Smoking banned; Cocaine legalised
Get ready to butt out on 1st July

In a controversial move, anti-smoking nazis have pushed for smokers to be banned from smoking anywhere in the country - whether it be inside their own homes or outside in the open air. The government has backed the ban and the new law will take effect on July 1, the two year anniversary of smoking being banned in pubs. Only MPs will be exempt from the law.

Anyone caught smoking will be arrested, fined and possibly jailed.

The government has voiced its concern about the shortfall in sin tax that the smoking ban will lead to. To make up for the shortfall in tobacco tax, from 1st July cocaine will become legal - but only if the substance is snorted through the nasal passages and not smoked.

With an estimated 10 million people regularly snorting cocaine and an 80% sales tax slapped on it, the treasury has projected a £1trillion profit within one year - enough to pay off the national debt and Sir Fred Goodwin's pension.

Kate Moss supports the government's new law and is throwing a huge party to celebrate the event. She has invited reporters from The Sun to come and take photos.

Kate Moss is a celebrity.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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