MUMBAI, INDIA: The lawyer for Mumbai terrorist Kasab says his client is going crazy in solitary confinement and wants to take strolls outside his cell.
He has submitted a list of requests from the last surviving Pakistani terrorist which include access to a specific Pakistani Urdu newspaper, toothpaste and perfume.
As the court reviews these prayers, Indians have reacted sharply suggesting these measures:
-that the little shit be flogged daily so he realizes he's a terrorist and not a diplomatic guest
-the only access to reading material be Mahatma Gandhi's principles of non-violence
-he be given a bar of cheap, harsh lye soap to wash himself and be made to suffer the stench of his own body fear
-he should be water-boarded 182 times at the very least
Chief of Police said: "Does he think we are stupid to give him Pakistani newspapers? So his ISI handlers can send him couched messages? It is very clear from the way he is continuously muddying the waters that he is a well-trained terrorist. First he confessed, then recanted, then said he was only 17 years old. When that lie was refuted now he demands specific newspapers. Who has put these ideas in his head if he is such an innocent? He is cunning as a fox and we have to be extra vigilant"
Mumbai hangman (name withheld) says he has been perfecting the scaffold for the public hanging. He told reporters: "It will be a good day for India when this remorseless, malevolent creep hangs at the end of my rope. Too bad he can't be beheaded like his people do to other innocents".