Following the heart-stoppingly scandalous revelations that website Scunt has been nicking stories from classic spoof website TheSpoof.com, the group of scurvy seadogs who united to bring you all the 'Below Decks' saga has vowed to set the record straight.
"This means war men, and Piebottom," announced Captain Morse to a packed poop deck. "We can't be having this. Look, the conjoined pissgum twins and the gynaecologically inclined Doc won't support this kind of thing. Draw your sabres, prepare to board and kill the fuckers..."
"Not me. Not yet," stated Bosun McCarthy. "Not till I've had me brekky sarny"
"Let me at em" screamed BuckwheatsButt (notice I spelled it right) "I'll rip the featherpluckers a new armpit"
Jesus Budda was equally unimpressed.
"I'll set my avatar on them," he told us.
Roy Turse reportedly went into hiding, and Earl Grey was busy studying microscopic images of the ship's disgusting cook's decayed fingernails.
Monkey Woods was too busy pissing and farting about to get involved, whilst QM retained a dignified silence, and Duncan Whitehead was concentrating on shagging Hollywood starlets, in Savannah, Georgia.
Word from Scunt says they're "shitting themselves"
Sorry if I missed anybody out. It's late, I'm tired and as pissed as a fart.
Love you all.
More when we sober up