Written by rfreed

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

image for What If Bush Had Tied Social Security To The Stock Market?
Mr. Dotemer Of Blosterville, Texas Feels A Lot Better Now That He's Had His Cat For Dinner.

Let's take a short trip into fantasy land for a moment- let's imagine what the world would be like if George W. Bush and his cronies had actually put the Social Security funds of this nation into the stock market like they wanted to. What would our headlines be like today with the near-depression levels of our economy? Where would our elderly citizens who depend on it for their survival be today?

'Homeless Elderly in Houston Form Street Gangs To Survive.'

'Three Desperate 70 Year Olds Hijack Plane To Cuba Where They Can Get Old Age Pensions.'

'Oldsters Still Blockading Themselves In Old Folks Home After Three Day Siege. Demanding Adequate Food And Clothing.'

'Two Medicaid Patients Accidentally Picked Up By Trash Truck While Digging Through Dumpster For Food.'

'Cannibalism Breaks Out At Delaware Nursing Home. Interns Grilled On A Spit.'

'Fort Lauderdale Boat Overcrowded With 80 Elderly Trying To Row To Haiti To Get Food.'

'Geriatrics Apply For Asylum In Mexico Because At Least They Have Food.'

'Over 65ers Send For New Wonder Supplement Called 'Soylent Green' Because Of Its Alleged Nutritional Value And It's Low Price.'

'Fishermen in Minnesota, Wisconsin And Michigan Run Out Of Bait As Elderly Buy Up Worms For Protein Source.'

When told of these developments at his new $2 million mansion in Dallas, ex-President Bush said "Gosh, I'm sorry about that. But its not my watch now." and went back to reading his paper.

When pressed for a comment ex-vice President Cheney said "Let' em eat cake!" and slammed down the phone.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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