Scientist develops rat to kill all cats

Funny story written by Danto

Thursday, 24 June 2004

Indian scientist P Rajendran has developed a new species of pink rats that will be capable of killing cats.
Rajendran, who is based in New York City, said it was payback time to the cats, which he has detested since childhood. ‘One of these feline creatures scratched me when I was a kid. I pledged revenge at that very moment,' he said.
The new breed of rats will have 18 lives.
Rajendran said he had developed the super breed after feeding a female rat a concoction of rum and cola over four years. With that, the rats will always be in the pink of health, he said.
Rajendran's boss at his laboratory, Prem Panicker, said he was proud of him and would recommend his name for the next Nobel Prize for Science.
Panicker said that they would now try out the rum and cola combination on human beings, to see if they have 18 lives and always be in the pink of health.
Anita Bora, a lover of cats, and a former employee of the laboratory, said she was shocked by the development. ‘How could he do this? I will consult my scientist friends, who will develop a breed of cats which will have 36 lives.'
Haysi Pande-Daniel, a lover of all living creatures, has called for a truce from her holiday hideout somewhere in India. ‘We must not get into a rat race,' she said.
Suparn Verma, a scriptwriter for many hit Hindi films, said he would launch a film ‘Rats' to take on the Broadway musical ‘Cats' next year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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