Poland slices up the opposition

Funny story written by Harry Porter

Wednesday, 23 June 2004

image for Poland slices up the opposition
The champion (third from left) with some challengers

Poland's sour dough rye bread with caraway seeds is the globe's new top loaf.

The 125th Annual World Bread Championship, held this year in the Slovenian capital of Ljubljana, attracted a staggering 2,500 entries from 340 countries.

The event has grown dramatically from its modest 19th century beginnings and now even boasts celebrity judges - this year's being top UK chef Gordon Ramsay, Cherie Blair, wife of the British Prime Minister, and Rolling Stones' guitarist Keith Richards.

And there were a few upsets.

The defending champion, Irish potato bread, was emphatically thumped off the No.1 spot - and even out of the top 10 in a fiercely contested event which saw the more traditional loaves rising above the novelty creations of recent years.

Out went the ‘Sticky Lewinsky' (USA), Iraq's Flat (USA & UK) and the Afghan Poppy (CIA), to be replaced with such age-old gems as Any Thyme Bread (England), Finnish Oatmeal and Scotland's bowel-blocking favourite - the Sliced Pan.

Balfour Deschamps, president of the Federation of Master Bakers, said: "Central and Eastern Europe have figured prominently this year as the world looks more to the combined health qualities of rye and roughage.

"Bread is almost a global staple - the varieties are as varied as the people."

Next year's event will be held in Irvine, Kentucky.

The top five winners in Ljubljana were:

1. Sour Rye & Caraway (Pol)
2. Original Altar Bread (Vatican state)
3. Amish Friendship Bread (US)
4. Ciambeline (Italy)
5. Poori (India)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot