Leading food industry specialists are now touting the health benefits of heroin.
Following a trend in which food substances formerly famous as being detrimental to health are now 'discovered' to have healthy attributes, heroin, once seen as a vicious, body and mind destroying illegal drug, now is claimed to promote night vision and to lower blood pressure.
A number of heroin inclusive products have already appeared on market shelves including Razamataz- an energy drink with guarana, ginseng and vitamin C that claims to "get you so wired that you never want to come down!", Heroin Helper- a mix that enhances and flavors ground beef, and Hippie Heroin Bits- a breakfast cereal loaded with vitamins and minerals that are guaranteed to get your kids off to school in ways they never thought possible.
While some scientists express concern that heroins negative aspects outweigh its good points, food industry officials insist that it would be a beneficial addition to the American diet. It joins coffee which is now said to be good against Alztheimers, wine which is said to be good for the heart, and fructose which is said to be good for digestion; all items which once had a bad rap for harming the body. Spin doctors are also working hard to find a way to promote crack frozen entrees.
