Written by Dungeekin

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Researchers from the Simon Wiesenthal Foundation have uncovered evidence of the religious heart of the Nazi regime, with the discovery of a redraft of the Lords Prayer written specifically for Adolf Hitler.

The prayer, shown below, was discovered in an archive of documents in Venezuela, and was written in 1942 by a young theologian named Ratzinger.

The document carries Hitler's own signature approving the prayer for distribution and dissemination in radio broadcasts and at rallies throughout Germany.

    Our Fuhrer, who art in Himmel
    Hallowed be thy bunker
    Thy Lebensraum come
    Thy blitzkreig be done
    In France as it was in Poland
    Give us this day our daily Kristallnacht
    And forgive us our annexations
    As we trample those who stand in the way of a greater Germany
    And lead us not into Russia
    But deliver us from Stalingrad
    For thine is the Himmler, the Goebbels and the Goering
    For a thousand years.

According to the researchers, no record of Ratzinger can be found post-1945. It is believed that he fled the country ahead of the Nuremberg trials, aided by the ODESSA project, and later indications seem to be that he is living somewhere in Italy under an assumed name.

Pope Benedict XVI condemned the rewriting of the prayer, saying, "it's a travesty that a prayer to the Lord should be twisted in such a way. I don't know who could do such a thing. How did you get hold of my papers - I mean, that paper? No, that's not my signature. Honest. Scheisse".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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