Heathrow to get new marina

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for Heathrow to get new marina
On of the boats ready to occupy the new Heathrow marina

With the green light given to the building of a third runway and another high-tech, baggage-losing terminal full of over-priced tat shops (however Woolworths, Zavi, Land of Leather, Findus, Barclays, Miller Brothers, Adams, Wedgewood, Officers Club, The Pier, Hardy Amies, Cardfair and Card Warehouse and Viyella have decided not to apply for retail space at this juncture), the Secretary of State for Losing Elections Lord Heysoos Kryste-O'Mytee, and the Minister for Electing Conservatives, Willary Billary Wedgewood-Waterford, announced the construction of an international marina at Heathrow Airport.

Due to commence construction in 2011, the new marina will have berthing space for up to 6 ocean cruise liners, 12 oil tankers, 120 private ocean-going yachts, 300 weekend and leisure yachts and one of Roman Abramovich's floating cities.

The ministers said, in very loud voices, that this was an innovation that no one else had thought of. With all the talk from people like Mayor Johnson, Greenpeace, Save the Whale and the NSPCC banging on about how much more green it would be to build a new airport in the middle of the English Channel, what can be negatively said about building a totally green marina at Heathrow?

"It's a case of if Moses can't get to the mountain, then the Labour Party will do its best to conveniently take the mountain to Moses", the Ministers said.

"At least the bloody locals won't be able to complain about noise from any low-flying yachts", he added in a VAT-back-to-the-original-17.5%-rate-as-soon-as-possible-if-not-22.5% voice.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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