Polish And Foreign Workers At Heathrow Now Account For Majority Of Staff

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 15 September 2008

image for Polish And Foreign Workers At Heathrow Now Account For Majority Of Staff
Heathrow check-in desk yesterday

Polish and other foreign workers at Britain's busiest airport, Heathrow, now account for more than 84% of the total workforce, it has been claimed, by an irate traveller.

Donald Dixon, a staunch BNP member, was coming back from New York with his family last week, when he encountered baggage difficulties at the airport, and asked a member of staff to assist.

"Just looked at me like I was born yesterday" said Dixon. "Couldn't understand a word I was going on about! Foreign geezer!"

The man in question was Stanislav Warzinska, 28, originally from Krakow in Poland. He told us that Mr Dixon had been drinking, and his speech was slurred.

Mr Dixon also complained that a man in a fluorescent yellow jacket, whom he instructed to recover his luggage from the baggage carousel, was "as black as the Ace of Spades", and spoke "Mumbo-Jumbo".

This man was Thomas Olafenji, 26, from Lagos, who has been studying African Politics at the University of London, and is now waiting to hear if he has been successful after applying for a post with Brent Council. He said:

"The man (Dixon) gave me a funny-looking Roman salute, like that Hitler fellow used to do. He was rather rude to me, but you sometimes get these people. It's best to just deal with them in a polite way."

Dixon then approached another "foreign-looking bloke", and asked him to hail a taxi. This turned out to be Wasim Sharma, a passenger, who was on his way to Islamabad to visit his family there.

The incident comes just after the government announced last week that they would be introducing tighter immigration laws in Britain, that would ultimately mean fewer Polish and Mumbo-Jumbo-speaking foreign workers would be admitted into the country.

After being led away by two Asian policeman, Mr Dixon shouted:

"I want to speak to Mr Powell!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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