Boris suggests second airport to replace Gatwick be located in Merseyside

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Sunday, 21 September 2008

image for Boris suggests second airport to replace Gatwick be located in Merseyside
Airport is not just an Arthur Haley book or a song by the Motors, says Boris

Hot on the heels of a Thames Estuary airport to replace Heathrow, Boris Johnson, the affable Mayor of London, has suggested that a second London airport to replace Gatwick should be built off the coast in Merseyside.

He said: "Having insulted the people of Merseyside some months ago, I felt it only fair to really try and redress the balance. I am proposing an 8-lane, dual carriageway airport off the coast of Merseyside in the Irish Sea to replace Gatwick.

"I appreciate that some people may say that Merseyside a bit north of Gatwick, but whatho? At least it will shut those people in the Gatwick flight-paths up, once and for all.

"We did buy some land in the Merseyside Estuary last year. It was frightfully cheap I say. In fact, it was thousands of per cent cheaper than the price of equivalent coastal land, so we risked 10,000 acres at £1 an acre.

"The problem was when we got up there to see the 'lay of the land' - which I might add is not some blonde totty from Toxteth - we were a bit shocked to see the tide had come in.

"But bally hoo, whatho, don't you know. Not to worry."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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