The Prophet Mohammed - may he be treated like a god, like Christians treat Jesus - today thanked the Israeli Defense Force for making his religion a healthy profit.
'Yes', he said, 'things weren't looking so good for me, then the Israelis started massacring the Palestinians and now the money's pouring in! Just rebuilding the mosques that the Americans - I mean the Israelis destroyed, will make us a few shekels. And now the Palis - that all other Muslims dislike - will be giving us all their cash, well, maybe a few goat droppings, but it's better than nothing. I had to ask the Israelis to deliberately go for the mosques, as no-one else was going to them any more, the downturn was getting serious.'
When one journalist asked Mohammed if his religion wasn't one that encourages murder and war and bombs, and was about as helpful to Palestinians and the human race as a tapeworm, he shouted: 'Death to Israel, and the Jewish, capitalist, American, Satanic, communist, decadant West! Death to Turkey and Saudi Arabia and Libya! Death to the entire world that dares to think for itself! That'll be 9 Swiss dollars, please, for my holy fund of circumcising teenage girls and firing rockets at Israeli civilians. Commandments, what commandments?'
Jesus was turning in his grave, as yet another great religion had been turned into one of death and hate.
