Daft bastard, the Right Reverend Theodore Puddlejumper flew out to Greece today with the intention of coordinating the riots there.
The Eastern Mediterranean nation once the proud owner of the Elgin marbles, Empire cinema founder, and olympic host nation has been stunned by the ferocity of the popular uprising.
Prime Minister, Costas Karamanlis said:
'We have been stunned by the ferocity of this popular uprising.'
Athens Police Chief Cremcaramel Wottheflockisthis said:
'If it was my decision I'd shoot the frickin' lot of 'em, but my hands are tied.'
Which was true, as he was being entertained by a lesbian dominatrix in an Athens brothel as we spoke to him. And we can report exclusively that he was sporting a big (censored) at the time we contacted him.
The Right Reverend Theodore Puddlejumper said:
'I'm off to Athens to coordinate the ferocious riots. There's right and there's wrong. Am I right? And this is the right thing to do because two wrongs don't make a right and what's happening in Greece as we speak is just wrong and I'm quietly confident that what I say and do in such circumstances is unquestionably right. Am I right or am I wrong. What is right and what is wrong? And as Howard Jones said back in the 80's 'What Is Love Anyway?' Am I right? Or wrong. Or possibly delusional? Who knows?'
I phoned the Home Office to ask why a known political agitator would be allowed to go to an international hotbed of trouble to stir up what is already a hornet's nest of unrest?
'Don't sweat it,' Home Office gofer Marlon Happybaccy told us. 'We're well aware of the Reverend Puddlejumper and his political activism. Trust me, by the time the Greek rioters have taken in and digested whatever it is he has to say, they'll be so bored rigid and confused that they'll all bugger off home for tea.'
More as we get it.
That's a definite maybe.
