Narcoleptic BASE Jumper In Near Disaster

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 24 November 2008

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It's Okay Mum, I Woke Up! - Eddie The Kestrel Last Year.

BASE jumper Eddie 'The Kestrel' Lyons-Bowe of Stranraer, Scotland almost came a cropper whilst executing a 2000 foot jump off the Burdenoshtiburden Cliffs into a Norwegian fjord.

Eddie The Kestrel was filming an ad for a Japanese electronics corporation when he dozed off seconds after hurling himself into the abyss.

Terrified onlookers could only watch helplessly as Eddie The Kestrel started to tumble end over end in a spectacularly out of control descent as he quietly dozed in blissful ignorance of the potentially fatal outcome of his forty winks episode.

Eddie The Kestrel told us later that:

'I'd just leapt over the edge when the narcolepsy kicked in. It can't have been for long but was terrifying to wake up only to find myself plummeting earthwards and tumbling end over end.

'Fortunately I was able to pull out of the spin and yank my ripcord, but it was a close shave and that's for sure.

'Because I'd opened my chute so late into the descent the landing was very heavy, but I don't think I've broken any bones.'

'He's a lucky boy,' the film director said. 'A couple of seconds more with the ripcord and he'd have splattered like something that splatters really badly when dropped from a great height onto an unyielding surface.'

Doctor Peregrine Who, an expert in narcolepsy said:

'I wouldn't recommend BASE jumping as a participation sport for narcoleptics. The consequences of an attack during a jump are far too horrific to even consider.'

Eddie The Kestrel was unperturbed by his ordeal and plans a jump off the Empire State Building sometime next month.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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