Human Rights International Fights Gross Human Rights Violations with Nasty Letter

Funny story written by Jeff Brone

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

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Human rights watchdog group Human Rights International countered the violations of rights by Russia and Gerogia in their recent war with a particularly scathing letter to the UN. The letter, which was almost seven pages long, contained several words written entirely in capital letters and multiple exclamation points, said a spokesman for the group.

"We decided to pull out all the stops, similar to the letter we wrote about Guantanamo Prison. That one had some words written in red ink. I think that was a first for us. But this one was a real doozy too!" stated John St. Bonaparte Schmidt, the group's secretary. He continued to say that they used their best computer printer and paper to print the letter. "We got this printer off Craig's list and it was barely used."

Schmidt said that the group has long felt secondary to other human rights organizations that "have budgets for things like marching and calls to action and what not." They had hoped to counter that with this letter that they felt was "just about as good as anything from those other groups. Granted, they have reports to fight injustice, which may be more intimidating than a letter, but maybe not. I urge everyone to read our letters before they make any decisions." said Schmidt. He admitted that probably no one would do that.

Schmidt did thank other groups for paving the way for those who defend rights of others. He particularly was impressed by the large report written by a rival group in response to the "so called war on terror" as he put it. "It was over 150 pages long, with a real nice cover, and a foreword by Barbra Streisand. If that doesn't protect our civil rights, I don't know what will!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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