Putin blamed for satanic cannibals' ritual orgy rampage

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 15 September 2008

image for Putin blamed for satanic cannibals' ritual orgy rampage
Bloodsuckers like Vlad the Impaler

Yaroslavl, Russia - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): "I blame bloodsuckers like Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin for these sadistic cannibals' satanic orgy rampage."

That is one local mother's view today after Yaroslavl police arrested a gang of human flesh-eating satanists who had gorged themselves on the ritually slain bodies of four teenage goths.

The murdered youths had been rounded up, plied with Bloodyvostock Moonshine, stabbed 666 times apiece and dismembered under the light of the waxing lunar eclipse last month.

A makeshift devil-worshiping altar-cum-barbecue completed the grisly scenario.

Police say the murders may be part of ongoing satanist/goth turf war over crack cocaine and illicit moonshine distribution rites (sic).

But locals claim a shit-hot Moscow lawyer has been dispatched to defend the accused 'on orders from the Kremlin'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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