Written by Natowsky

Saturday, 6 September 2008

image for Sexy Woman! Moose Hunting And Stew Might Lead To White House For Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin at age 16 practicing her hunting skills by shooting birds out of trees

Respectable New York City publisher Random House has secured the rights to Sarah Palin's collection of moose stories, read to her from birth to 4-years old by her father, Charles Heath ('Chuck') and then read together with her dad until she was 12. At this time, she started to enjoy shooting the friends she had previously read about. So from birth, Sarah Palin had had a 'special feeling' in her heart for moose until she was essentially a teen, when she started sending her friends to Heaven.

By defintion, the moose (North America) is the largest extant species in the deer family. Dad taught her that it's legal to "put the moose to sleep" by blasting them gently with a bullet, because "they always dream of going to 'Moose Heaven,' which dad referred to as 'Moosey Heaven' and where they could not be hunted, as much, according to "'Moosey God.'"

Sarah, quite intelligent, had quickly learned firearms by age 12. These weapons included handguns, rifles, shotguns and, even, a Soviet AK-47 and an Israeli Uzi! Her dad remembers her saying one -20 degree day at 5 AM in Wasilla, "Daddy, I love the feel of cold steel in my hands ready to send some moosey to Moosey Heaven. I can't wait to send off the biggest!"

And, still, at age 12, Sarah had her first taste of moose and daddy said, "Sarah, you're tasting how good it feels for your moosey friends to be in Moosey Heaven." All Sarah could say was, "Daddy this is soooooooooooooooo good! May I have another bowl?"

Later, at age 17, when her dad saw her varied abilities, he told her, "Darling, you are so smart and I think all that moose shooting and eating of their delicious meat have made you as smart as a whip. I can see my best girl someday even being President!" Sarah replied, "Go on daddy...I'm a girl who handles a gun like a man. That's great! But, when I finish college and I'm a little bit older, I'll be smarter than any man!!! How could I ever be dumb enough to even think of being President!? Only an egotistical know-nothing political dork wants that!!!"

c 2008 Dear Books, Inc., a Division of Random House

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sarah Palin




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