Reverend Jesse Jackson Inadvertently 'Spawns' 2 New Flavors Of Ice Cream Generating Global Marketplace Fever!

Funny story written by Natowsky

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

image for Reverend Jesse Jackson Inadvertently 'Spawns' 2 New Flavors Of Ice Cream Generating Global Marketplace Fever!
Pistachio nuts are used in 'Snow Whitey and 7 Nuts' ice cream

With the U.S. leading the way in the Worlwide consumption of ice cream, a major specialty producer has scored a triple-scoop winner. Ben and Jerry's of South Burlington, Vermont, USA, boasts one of the most diverse and unique flavor lines of ice cream. Some flavors, such as Imagine World Peace, Chunkey Monkey, Fossil Fuel, Neapolitan Dynamite, and Turtle Soup certainly grab the attention of Americans, strongly addicted to the ongoing U.S. ice cream craze.

Ben and Jerry's is sold mainly by the pint to maintain the feeling of uniqueness, while commanding a premium price. Its stores are everywhere...in fact, in 25 countries, with over 430 'scoop shops' in the U.S. and 150 in foreign lands, and, as different as France, Israel, Finland, Turkey, and Thailand.

Well, an American 'relic' has now given the two ice cream guys a boost, as the Reverend Jesse Jackson continues his slamming mission against 'whitey' America, especially, what he believes is 'whitey-focused' Barack Obama. Recently, Jesse went on one of his minitirades and mouthed off about U.S. Senator Barack Obama, running for U.S. President(!), and, one of his fellow African-Americans!

The Reverend gored Obama, first, by railing against him by reiterating the label of 'elitist black,' ignoring Obama's black roots and, second, while 'supposedly' off mike (but not!) talking about cutting out Obama's 'family jewels.' Ouch! Jesse also used the N-word against Obama with a nasty face, said witnesses! It was Jackson who also called the descendents of the Israelites Hymies and New York City as Hymietown, back in 1984. Clearly, Jesse, has been very controversial, but foot-in-mouth disease has finally caught up with him!

Well guess what Jesse, the specialty guys, Ben and Jerry are both Hymies and they've come up with two new flavors to draw attention to your 'open-mindedeness' and to 'honor your place in history.'

The first new flavor in reference to the Reverend Jackson's castration fixation regarding Obama (ouch, again!) is called 'Choco and Balls' and consists of the richest and almost completely-black mocha ice cream, riddled with a high density of minisized 'whitey'-white chocolate 'footballs,' each imprinted with the words, 'A Cut Out,' clearly a reference to the the loss of Obama's family jewels (OK, his testicles!)

The second, affectionately called 'Snow Whitey and 7 Nuts' contains the richest 'whitey' vanilla ice cream with hearty slivers of 7 nuts, including walnut, macadamia, almond, hazelnut, cashew, Brazil, and pistachio. If you want to find nuts in your ice cream, you'll find it in this ice cream dream! To our male readers: You'll go nuts over it and without losing your own. Glad, you don't know Jesse?!

African-Americans were, at first, a bit incensed at the names and 'supposed intent' of the new flavors and picketed Ben and Jerry's stores on the East Coast of the U.S for about a week. But, protests quickly ended, as they tasted the great, novel flavors and sent the crystal-clear message, "Kiss my ass, Jesse!," whom they claim has lost touch with the new African-American.

Said Ozzie Calhoun, a retiree of Rahway State Prison in New Jersey where he was a guard, "Jesse is done jealous of that Obama. I'll tell you, give the Reverend a scoop of each of the 2 flavors and he'll sweeten right up! Somethin's gotten into the man. He be no more the head guy of us Afro-Americans. He just shootin' off his mouth. And, that son of his, Michael, I mean Michael Jackson...man, that kid or man may be a woman and he freaks my butt out. Lotta freaky folks doin' freaky things today! Make sure you quote me. I been aroun' that block many a walk, Mr. Whitey! You gots you a black name, but you is still whitey!"

Reported by Sanford P. Mugabe
Copyright 2008 Got My Mojo Workin'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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