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Funny satire stories about Ice Cream

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Flashpoint Narrowly Avoided In Local Market Square

Funny story: Flashpoint Narrowly Avoided In Local Market Square

A major controversy was narrowly averted earlier today, when a trader who normally sells flowers in a local town's market square was unable to do so due to circumstances utterly beyond her control. Miss Cobbit, the florist, has, for 40 years, sold...

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Man with Machete Holds Up Ice Cream Van

Funny story: Man with Machete Holds Up Ice Cream Van

Desperate measures are being taken, it seems, in the recent heatwave, as a Merseyside man held up an ice cream van with a machete. The Liverpudlian desparado claims he had been passed by no less than four vans in his quest for a 99 for himself and...

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Woman in England Denied Ice Cream In Heatwave

Funny story: Woman in England Denied Ice Cream In Heatwave

A woman was today denied an ice cream by a seriously fat vendor in an ice cream van outside a school. The woman had had a particularly long, hot, difficult day at work had just been thinking that if there was an ice cream van parked outside the sc...

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Chocolate Ice Cream Made Mess Of Girl's Face

Funny story: Chocolate Ice Cream Made Mess Of Girl's Face

What should have been a pleasant Sunday afternoon outing in Battambang with her friends, turned into the 'nightmare of her dreams' for one pretty girl today, as the ice cream she was eating, melted far more quickly than she'd anticipated it might, le...

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Global warming, penguins, and a whole bunch of ice cream

Is it hot in here? If by "here" you mean the planet earth then yes. Well that's not entirely true; it's still pretty cold in Canada, Russia, even Iceland. However, records show that average temperatures are increasing not only in the United States, but in the coldest nations on earth. Who's to blame? Scientists believe they have found the culprit; its name is Global Warming. Global Warmin...

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Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor

Funny story: Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor

BRENHAM, TX - Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria. On Monday, the company said that Salmavilla was also going to be released. Blue Balls ice cream...

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Obama Announces Free Ice Cream for Low-Income Children

Funny story: Obama Announces Free Ice Cream for Low-Income Children

WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama will go to one of Washington's poorest neighborhoods to talk about a plan to give low-income children free ice cream. "If we're serious about living up to what our country is about, then we have to consider what we...

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Picking The Good Chunks Out Of Ice Cream To Be Reclassified As Felony

Funny story: Picking The Good Chunks Out Of Ice Cream To Be Reclassified As Felony

Washington D.C. - The criminal act of probing through a carton of ice cream to find and eat the good chunky pieces will become a felony on January 1, 2015. The crime is currently classified as a misdemeanor. While the change covers every flavor a...

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Ben & Berry's announces two new flavors: Defecake (Shit Pie) and Boooger Bonanza!

In an early morning press conference today, a spokesman for Ben & Berry's Ice Cream announced two new flavors of ice cream that will be on store shelves this coming month. The two new flavors are Defecake aka: Shit Pie and Booger Bonanza! B...

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A Colorado Couple Celebrates Their 80th Wedding Anniversary

Funny story: A Colorado Couple Celebrates Their 80th Wedding Anniversary

Durango, Colorado - CNN reports that Rayburn and Gertrude Frycurtain of Durango have just celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. The happy couple was married back on April 17, 1934 in their hometown of Durango. The Frycurtains were taken to...

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Ben & Jerry's To Introduce An Ice Cream In Honor of This Year's Snowzilla

Funny story: Ben & Jerry's To Introduce An Ice Cream In Honor of This Year's Snowzilla

SOUTH BURLINGTON, Vermont - The ice cream creators at Ben & Jerry's in Vermont have been working overtime creating a new flavored ice cream in honor of all of the East Coast winter storms that have been battering the upper right side of the USA.

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Ben & Jerry's Introduces Its Latest Ice Cream Flavor - Duck Dynasty Delight

Funny story: Ben & Jerry's Introduces Its Latest Ice Cream Flavor - Duck Dynasty Delight

SOUTH BURLINGTON, Vermont - The makers of the world famous Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream have just announced their latest ice cream creation. Company spokesperson Millard Cypress informed the news media at a press conference at the South Burlington...

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Dairy Queen denies "sexism" charges

EDINA, MN -- Feminists have charged that Dairy Queen is sexist. The very name of the soft-serve ice cream company, Sheila Battle-Axe, Professor of Women's Studies at the University of Feminist Studies, says, is "insulting to women." "Queen," she p...

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Dairy Queen's New Snowzilla Blizzard™ Has Taken Off

Funny story: Dairy Queen's New Snowzilla Blizzard™ Has Taken Off

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota - The tremendous snowstorms that have struck the United States have taken a toll on the ice cream business as noted by Durango Tucker with National Focus Magazine. Tucker spoke with Dairy Queen spokesperson Columbus Vee and...

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An Ice Cream Shop In The Bronx Has Had 2 Customers in 7 Days

Funny story: An Ice Cream Shop In The Bronx Has Had 2 Customers in 7 Days

BRONX, New York - The owner of one of the most popular ice cream parlors in New York City says that he may have to end up closing down. Gino Brockatoosi owner of The Damma Good Ice Cream Parlor told reporters that the record-breaking winter snowst...

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Ohio Snowmageddon Swallows Up Entire Dairy Queen In Cleveland

Funny story: Ohio Snowmageddon Swallows Up Entire Dairy Queen In Cleveland

MINNEAPOLIS - The home office of the Dairy Queen restaurant chain is reporting that one of its stores in Cleveland, Ohio has been completely covered up by snow. Columbus Vee, a spokesperson for the ice cream and hamburger franchise, stated that he...

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Ben & Jerry's Has Just Developed A Brand New Ice Cream Flavor in Honor of Miley Cyrus

Funny story: Ben & Jerry's Has Just Developed A Brand New Ice Cream Flavor in Honor of Miley Cyrus

BURLINGTON, Vermont - The American Ice Cream giant, Ben & Jerry's has just informed the news media that they have just developed their latest ice cream flavor. Company Spokesperson Millard Cypress stated that the new flavor came about after th...

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Dairy Queen Presently Test Marketing A Brand New Dessert Item

Funny story: Dairy Queen Presently Test Marketing A Brand New Dessert Item

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota - The Dairy Queen Corporation in a move to increase their sales of ice cream products has just developed a new dessert item. Columbus Vee, a representative with the fast food franchise chain stated that the new item is pres...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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