Written by matwil

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

image for People Who Can't Win Wars Lampoon Italians
Took a lot of deserting to achieve this

Today, people from a country that has never won a war lampooned the Italian people.

Italians of course created the world's first superpower, the Roman Empire, and fought and conquered almost every people they came across - apart from the Scots - but for those who come from a nation that has yet to win a single war, it seems bizarre to suggest that Italians are deserters.

Speaking from the Senate - another Italian invention - Emperor Marcus Antonius - Mark Anthony, if you base history on Hollywood - said: 'It's hilarious. We more or less invented the modern world, and the British made it into a global empire, including irrelevant colonies like America, but still they call Italians 'deserters' and make jibes about French 'surrendering'! Too funny.'

And one leader of the French 'surrenderers', Napoleon Bonaparte, who invaded most of Europe, added: 'The Italians, the French and the British founded mighty empires, the New World found its backside, or rather didn't, and relies on childish stereotypes - just look at their elections!'

Such stereotyping has caused endless amusement in Europe over the years, and even funnier are the movies showing the New World winning all the wars that Europeans won, but naturally the reason the New World exists is because Europeans had to send the people they didn't want - and the ones that couldn't fight wars - off to somewhere to grow tobacco, and become self-important.

George W Bush is leading his troops, the 43rd Draftdodger Division, into battle as this is being written. More tea, anyone?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: War, Europe, Italy

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