The European Union is renewing efforts to increase its Common Waste Policy, the ripoff system that milks most of Europe, by 400 billion Euros every day.
For too long its thieving has been inefficient, and has allowed actual benefits for some member states, but a new policy of half-inching everything that moves will help streamline the massive confidence trick.
Speaking from his multimillion mansion in Luxembourg, unelected dictator, Jacques Pomdamour, announced: 'That'll be 3,000 Euros for opening my mouth, please.' And EU vice-dictator, Adolf Bonaparte, added: 'Who won the war anyway?'
Critics have suggested that the European Union is the biggest fraud in human history, making P. T. Barnum look like Mother Teresa, but others have been less kind.
Speaking from his rest room in Washington, American President, George 'Gaga' Bush, said: 'As soon as them Euros discover oil, we'll invade Chris Moyles.' And, in the same rest room, Hillary Clinton also said: 'I am not and have never been a member of the Nazi Party. Nein.'
Sherpa Tensing today became the first human being to climb the EU beef mountain.
